gummi Chandelier ii in detail

gummi Chandelier ii in detail
Inside the gummi bear Chandelier Jr.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

half way home...

I am half way back to Taiwan already.

Started smelling Mom's cooking, started craving for night market food, started hearing the rain, started feeling the need to walk fast on the street, and up and down in the subway stations...


The Co-Op show is 80% ready. Feel very excited and moved about this show that Roo and I put together, just for ourselves, to celebrate our decades long friendship. Roo started drawing on parts of paper, I would then continue from the little clues she left me, without knowing what she has drawn. The result is most surprising, because we do think the same, no matter how far we are from each other.

Aside from the heartwarming artist-friendship, I am in the midst of puzzling over Takashi Murakami's omnipresent star power in the whole city. Perhaps I have not understood his philosophy thoroughly. I will have to get one copy of his new book in Chinese translation when I go back to Taiwan and study hard to clear my prejudice. But I simply feel very very sad for millions of artists in Asia who have been creating artworks like his for ages. Life is not fair, it is never fair. But we all have our own path. Comparing with others will only drive us crazy and depressed. Comparing with the me yesterday is an easier way to live.

I love how Tilleke Schwarz put it on her website, "I treasure the idea that not everything in life is for sale." She has offered me a peaceful drop of dew that I can sip into a quiet mind, much like her artworks. Thank you, Tilleke!


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

什麼世界呀?

Lilly走後幾天...
二阿姨上週一走了, 好友的爸爸星期天過世了
Uncle在癌症中搏鬥著,聲音憔悴許多
我看著死亡一波接著一波地來
心想著
唉!
你這套我早就看穿了
幾年前我就破解死亡的謠傳了
你只能讓我流淚,不能打擊我對人生的嚮往
但是何必一堆擠在一起發生呢?

前幾天讀了"家中葬禮"的文章
我想現代社會的喪禮是最令人無法承受的儀式,討厭又虛偽,
如果沒有這些擾人的喪禮婚禮出生禮禮禮儀一大堆的來打攪我們的哀悼程序
我們對生老病死就不會感到這麼尷尬了!


"家中葬禮"大意是回到原住民部落健康乾淨的喪禮程序,
讓家人與好友親自替往生的愛人梳妝打扮,
親自替他們的愛人裝飾漆畫環保的"紙盒棺", 播放愛人最喜歡的音樂歌曲,
像在家裡接生娃兒一樣,一切都以家人與親密好友為中心,
完成往生者同意或親自設計的儀式~
一切從簡,重要的是讓大家有自己的空間表達想念之情,
一堆人一起吃壹頓飯總沒有一對一單獨對話來的釋懷.
畢竟死者已去,是我們這些留下來的人要做功課
壓抑下的哀傷對往後身心健康損壞極大
我們的哀痛過程不容許社會風俗來打亂

所以我想,如果有一天我走了
我要大家眾親友來幫我慶祝替我在身體上畫美麗的圖案
要歌功頌德的人也可以, 因為我可以偶而愛面子一下,
大家都要有一把我的骨灰或遺物當做紀念品,
然後背著"帶我去旅行"的任務把我的遺物帶到世界五大洲或外太空也可以
完成各自的哀悼程序, 然後繼續你們自己的美麗人生!!!

Friday, October 12, 2007

After two days...

After two days, I resume drawing.

Last time I drew, it was after Lilly came back from the vet on Monday evening. She was in intense labored breathing. I knew she needed a piece of quietness, no fussy emotional burden nor me crying nor worrying about her, I let her be alone to focus on breathing.
The drawing helped me focusing on something else.

She was such a considerate person that she would not create much burden on us. By Wednesday 5am, she has left us, leaving us in tears and broken hearts. It was easier when we put down our 22 year-old cat 5 years ago. I could not figure out what went wrong in this mourning process.

I think it is because we did not have a chance to say goodbye. Because we did not see this illness coming. Because she's only been with us for three years. Because she's such a character with unique personality, not cat-lity. Because she can fly like a bat. Because she always looks at you right in the eyes and sends you loud messages. Because much of her past on the street was unknown. Because she heard us talking about letting go. Because within 58 hours of discomfort, she left in a quick manner.
Like the usual Lilly, she can move in lightning speed if she wants to. We, however, was dragging heaviness and the desire to cry in every moment. The lead-weight heart was lifted after yesterday I realized that it was only because I did not tell her how much I love her before she left. Wanting her suffering to end but not expecting it to end this fast, the hypocritical us were unprepared.

But now that she knows I love her, I feel easier.

Still in broken heart, I wish her good luck on the road. With a good quality life with us, I'm sure she's happy to have her last supper of quail. After all, food is everything to her!
To our teacher and friend, Lilly the tuxedo cat, circa 1995 - 10/10/2007