In the humid cold...

Haven't come home in winter for years, not quite used to the humid cold.

Went to listen to Takashi Murakami's talk, with some insights to bring home but also brought on a nasty wild cold.

It was quite moving to see thousands of people showed up to listen to an artist talk. I wonder how many are young artists who can practically benefit from his appearance. Mostly fans, I think, based on their cellphone-camera-flashing behaviors in order to capture any little shots of flower wallpapers. Will they buy art from today on?

I went home cold, tired and confused. Have to finish reading his book first. It's nice we have a chinese translated version. Frances my sweet friend was working with Murakami from day one til he left. We all got a free copy of the book:) and were sent straight to the talk~ Lovely!!! She helps me to read his works at another level. If you can read Chinese, she documented the whole Murakami trip on her blog!

Coop show opened, with nice details and lots of love. I like the way it looks. It's always nice to see a show hung by ourselves, a nice switch from a gallery setting. In this cozy coffee shop, I may not be able to get the attention I used to have, but a subtle glow of our friendship warms my heart.

Spent half of the opening day laying on the chair and moaned my dizzy head. But these collaboration drawings and sculptures made me smile inside out. Roo had totally transformed them after I finished the sculpting part. With crayon, she drew the fake Burberry; with hand braided yarn, she added the long wig. Love the twist~

This is the surprise one can only receive by collaborating with other artists, even when they are your best friends!

「合作社」台北時間１２月１日下午１點開幕

小孟寄來下層那張接力作品時，我正在畫器官系列作品。有時候覺得心電感應的力量真是太神奇了!!
「 妳怎麼知道我在畫器官呀?? 」

要來台北看展的朋友們，我想有解釋的作品總是比自己猜猜看的作品要來得耐人尋味，你說是嗎?

像這樣的合作作品有什麼特別?

藝術家共同創作的現象由來已久，但在當代藝術中，此類活動更加頻繁。所謂合作的作品通常代表幾種不同的創作過程，最普遍的是兩位以上的畫家合畫一幅畫，有時候是雕塑家與製造業合作，複製或製造作品，或即興畫家與音樂家一同上台，畫家受現場演奏的音樂激發靈感而作畫。合作的形式種類多變，其展現媒體跨越繪畫、音樂、文學、表演…等領域。

我們的合作歷史也很漫長，從2002年王筱玲、白曉玲、沈孟儒、林明雪與周亞南五人組成「五角形」以來，我們幾乎每年都會合作一些作品。今年，「五角形」中的三角利用像猜謎般的新合作過程，呈現給您:「合作社」。

所有你在展場會看到的四幅以及六幅合併畫作都是我們在對彼此所畫之影像不知情的狀況下所畫的結果。這個主意來自沈孟儒在英國唸插畫時，她的老師Chiu帶領學生集體創作，互相腦力激盪的經驗。拿一張白紙，切成四等份，你在右上以及左下角的那兩張上畫你想要的東西，並且讓你的影像延伸出來一點點到右下及左上區，然後把剩下的這兩張空白寄給我創作。

我不知道你畫了什麼，只看得到在我的空白部份有一點點你畫超過的筆跡，我用我的想像力擴展你的想像力，我畫出來的東西會不會和你的產物有異曲同工之妙呢?

我們覺得友誼是奇妙的東西，有一種朋友隔著十萬八千里也能彼此心電感應；有一種朋友精通不同語言卻可以一起溝通；有一種朋友認識了一輩子，不用語言也可以達到共識；有一種朋友不常見面聊天，但是在彼此的生活中卻重要得不得了。我們希望你的生活裡也有這種朋友，「合作社」是為你而展，為了我們的友誼而展。

展覽詳情請由鴨鴨網站Co-op Show連結~

half way home...

I am half way back to Taiwan already.

Started smelling Mom's cooking, started craving for night market food, started hearing the rain, started feeling the need to walk fast on the street, and up and down in the subway stations...

The Co-Op show is 80% ready. Feel very excited and moved about this show that Roo and I put together, just for ourselves, to celebrate our decades long friendship. Roo started drawing on parts of paper, I would then continue from the little clues she left me, without knowing what she has drawn. The result is most surprising, because we do think the same, no matter how far we are from each other.

Aside from the heartwarming artist-friendship, I am in the midst of puzzling over Takashi Murakami's omnipresent star power in the whole city. Perhaps I have not understood his philosophy thoroughly. I will have to get one copy of his new book in Chinese translation when I go back to Taiwan and study hard to clear my prejudice. But I simply feel very very sad for millions of artists in Asia who have been creating artworks like his for ages. Life is not fair, it is never fair. But we all have our own path. Comparing with others will only drive us crazy and depressed. Comparing with the me yesterday is an easier way to live.

I love how Tilleke Schwarz put it on her website, "I treasure the idea that not everything in life is for sale." She has offered me a peaceful drop of dew that I can sip into a quiet mind, much like her artworks. Thank you, Tilleke!

什麼世界呀?

Lilly走後幾天...
二阿姨上週一走了, 好友的爸爸星期天過世了
Uncle在癌症中搏鬥著,聲音憔悴許多
我看著死亡一波接著一波地來
心想著
唉!
你這套我早就看穿了
幾年前我就破解死亡的謠傳了
你只能讓我流淚,不能打擊我對人生的嚮往
但是何必一堆擠在一起發生呢?

前幾天讀了"家中葬禮"的文章
我想現代社會的喪禮是最令人無法承受的儀式,討厭又虛偽,
如果沒有這些擾人的喪禮婚禮出生禮禮禮儀一大堆的來打攪我們的哀悼程序
我們對生老病死就不會感到這麼尷尬了!


"家中葬禮"大意是回到原住民部落健康乾淨的喪禮程序,
讓家人與好友親自替往生的愛人梳妝打扮,
親自替他們的愛人裝飾漆畫環保的"紙盒棺", 播放愛人最喜歡的音樂歌曲,
像在家裡接生娃兒一樣,一切都以家人與親密好友為中心,
完成往生者同意或親自設計的儀式~
一切從簡,重要的是讓大家有自己的空間表達想念之情,
一堆人一起吃壹頓飯總沒有一對一單獨對話來的釋懷.
畢竟死者已去,是我們這些留下來的人要做功課
壓抑下的哀傷對往後身心健康損壞極大
我們的哀痛過程不容許社會風俗來打亂

所以我想,如果有一天我走了
我要大家眾親友來幫我慶祝替我在身體上畫美麗的圖案
要歌功頌德的人也可以, 因為我可以偶而愛面子一下,
大家都要有一把我的骨灰或遺物當做紀念品,
然後背著"帶我去旅行"的任務把我的遺物帶到世界五大洲或外太空也可以
完成各自的哀悼程序, 然後繼續你們自己的美麗人生!!!

After two days...

After two days, I resume drawing.

Last time I drew, it was after Lilly came back from the vet on Monday evening. She was in intense labored breathing. I knew she needed a piece of quietness, no fussy emotional burden nor me crying nor worrying about her, I let her be alone to focus on breathing.

The drawing helped me focusing on something else.

She was such a considerate person that she would not create much burden on us. By Wednesday 5am, she has left us, leaving us in tears and broken hearts. It was easier when we put down our 22 year-old cat 5 years ago. I could not figure out what went wrong in this mourning process.

I think it is because we did not have a chance to say goodbye. Because we did not see this illness coming. Because she's only been with us for three years. Because she's such a character with unique personality, not cat-lity. Because she can fly like a bat. Because she always looks at you right in the eyes and sends you loud messages. Because much of her past on the street was unknown. Because she heard us talking about letting go. Because within 58 hours of discomfort, she left in a quick manner.

Like the usual Lilly, she can move in lightning speed if she wants to. We, however, was dragging heaviness and the desire to cry in every moment. The lead-weight heart was lifted after yesterday I realized that it was only because I did not tell her how much I love her before she left. Wanting her suffering to end but not expecting it to end this fast, the hypocritical us were unprepared.

But now that she knows I love her, I feel easier.

Still in broken heart, I wish her good luck on the road. With a good quality life with us, I'm sure she's happy to have her last supper of quail. After all, food is everything to her!

To our teacher and friend, Lilly the tuxedo cat, circa 1995 - 10/10/2007

My relationship with time

My relationship with time is a mess. If there is only one lesson for me in this life time, it would be TIME.

I can count seconds by heart with accuracy, but the hour needle on the clock stabs my body at every click.

I was rushed to be born, I was rushed to grow up, I was rushed to create. In fact, no body's rushing me at all except for the one named Me.

A studio visit was cancelled this morning. I am at joy finishing up all things on hold. At the moment of this unplanned void, I was so moved to have a 2-hour window that I was almost in tears.

Quiet like the moss grown on tree trunks, grateful like the lizard who found the prickly pears after a 3 day long search, I face this pool of fresh water among the sand dunes, not knowing what to express on my face.

Thank you thank you my flying pigs!! It is when I let things come to me that I was given what I really need.

And I want to tell you that there is a certain type of art which makes me sweat. Skills flow freely as if one's walking in the breeze, concept realized naturally like one's memory; I saw Gregory Euclide's show at Black Market last Saturday. It is so comfortably made and well installed that I feel as easy as being in a jazz bar. It is beautiful, and I sweat because I want to be as naturally good as Gregory's works.

A phone call came, I will have 2 more hours void today. Perhaps too much void is not healthy to a person who has messy relationship with time.

My grown little pig

You asked me how is my pig. You knew that we visited her in July. But you didn't know that our pig daughter is almost 3 and currently on diet.

This is my little girl, Ramona, in 2005~ and this is Ramona in 2007~

Ramona is now 360lb, a petite size compare to her farm-bred 800lb fellows.

Why can't pigs stop eating?

Because they are bred this way for hundred years. Farm pigs are raised to be slaughtered no more than 6 months; the goal is to have a breed that can eat a lot and gain their full weight before they head to our dinner table. Ramona has wild pig gene in her (her pointed ears and longer snout) which keep her smaller in size but still has the apatite for the sake of human.

She is naughty because after I gave her sweet strawberries and pears, she wouldn't touch her favorite lettuce any more. I guess I should feed children meals before snacks. She is the sweetest angel; I got to brush her with my hands and walked with her close by(which is great for territorial animals like pigs). She loves to soak in her pond and relaxes; when the right moment comes, poo-poo is a jolly move. Ramona looks like me, with black and thick hair.

She has a petite friend Wilbur, who is a pot-belly that follows you around and would eat kale over strawberries!

Do you like to have a farm animal on your family tree? Check out the Farm Sanctuary. We met some of the tallest cows, gentle sheep, shy donkeys, sweet turkeys, chicken, ducks, and your intelligent tip-toe pigs!

Censored!

Ok, this is probably the most irritating picture I've posted here, but it is damn interesting!!
I heard of things like this happen in US a lot, but never expect liberal Euro to shut down an art show due to political/religious intolerance.

It is a portrait of the Pope Benedict XVI by Italian sculptor Paolo Schmidlin, titled "Miss Kitty." His looking like a drag queen reads to me as the metaphor of Catholic churches' non-stop molestation scandals. The title was changed before the show opens to prevent political intervention. Mayor of Milan shut down the gay show "Vade retro：ARTE E OMOSESSUALITA'. Da von Gloeden a Pierre et Gilles" in a instance; right wingers were in rage while the gallery was force to stop selling any posters/merchandises they designed for the show.

Still have to think of Euro liberal, because politicians in US don't look at art at all, with the exception of patriotic theme and Thomas Kinkade.

I assume this show does not include celebrity gay artists like David Hockey, or it will be promoted instead of demolished. Of course, again, women artists are the first one to be the target, which turned around to bring Miss Schmidlin a fortune with all the attention. It reminded me of numerous artworks that were censored due to nudity involved. Sadly for the viewers who were sacrificed by the "chosen" few, innocent people will never know what our bodies look like. It is assumed that watching violent actions on TV is inevitable, but watching one's own body is indefinitely forbidden!

年紀大了,很容易想起以前

佈了個展,開幕順利! 才回到現實,承認完美的旅行已經告終,是該甘心回到工作室工作的時候了.

聯繫上很久沒見面的朋友,想起很多以前,怎麼人越老就越容易想起以前,不知道老狗是否也常常想起他們小時候的時光? 這個世界對我們進行了多少腦部調整,讓我們忘記了小時候,我們最常做的事是當下玩耍. 沒有留念過去或期貨未來的包袱是幸福的!所以我總覺得自己奇怪,做完一個展便迫不及待地想離開,到下一件作品去,沒有活在當下的健康. 像我聽人描述的,鑰匙才剛插進門鎖,你卻早就進了門了! 我得專心開門,別去想門另一邊的事...

What do you do when you are not making art?

"feeling guilty about not making art."

This is pathetic.

I went thru the most hellish day yesterday, because I didn't want to make art. I traumatized myself with deadlines and far-reaching goals so I could once again approve how lazy I am.

Therefore I was irritated, by paper, by brushes, by the table, by the phone, by the peaches and the watermelon, by cats, by husband and by oxygen. Nothing mattered, I rather die.

One article in Artillery magazine saved me from my torturing hell. The exact same words my loving gallerist has told me several times suddenly reverberated in the article. At the brink of vacuuming myself into dust, I, for the first time, heard the message.

You should take all the time you need. Don't let outside pressure stop you!

That's exactly what I did in the past 2 years, let the pressure to show stopped me. Interesting how life lessons repeat themselves over and over again until we learned it. I bit down my lips to make some fundamental changes of my attitude toward myself. I have to say to the fear in me, "I'm not afraid of you any more. Thanks for the advice. Please go away now!"

So I wrote this, to share with all the fearful minds in the world:

You’re in this for a long run, correct unhelpful habits so you can last long.

Everybody has a different path, universe has a different plan for every one of us.

What am I here for?
Being stressed out while working for commitments, and missed what my heart really desire?
Or be at ease and stay true to myself so that I can hear what is being said in my heart?

Fundamental changes can help me deal with stress.
Indeed, there will be no intense moment when I’m connected.

Create what I want to create; do not live from show to show.

The order should be,
take all the time I need, accomplish what means to be me. After that, the universe will match my intention with opportunities.
The dysfunctional, deceiving order is to live from show to show, in order to empower my insecurity.
I do not feel true when I lived the latter way; I was more like a lying politician trying to win people’s approval by detouring off what I’m really here for.

Art is life, you can’t lie about it. Art is life, you can’t speed it up. Art is life, do what do you have to do now so you can still make art while you’re 92 years old?

Showing is not the answer; fame is not guaranteed; contracts don’t last a lifetime; money will be spent. YOU are the answer.

“Be a person of value rather than a person of success,” Albert Einstein.

Corporate Food, what's in your bowl?

US Corporations continue to fascinate me. Where there is money, there are US corporations. Does not matter if one has to introduce illegal child labor, break human dignity or poison the innocent people.
Over 5,000 Latin American farm workers are suing Dole, Dow and Amvac for poisoning them with pesticides that caused them to go sterile. Pepsi Co finally admits that Aquafina is not spring water, but from tap water. Not surprisingly, if you eat cadmium, lead, mercury, and hexavalent chromium from your food containers, you shall thank for the glory corporations!

Dr. Phil Howard from Michigan State Univ. offered us a glimpse of how the giant companies are buying out small organic food labels. Now our organic food are processed with chemical waste, pesticide, herbicide and countless of human tear drops. I guess it is only natural that humans are greedy when it comes to profit and power. Shall we just call it ORGANIC?

Permanence with no time

Should have updated some photos to you from my perfect vacation, yet this article about Ai Wei Wei (艾未未)'s work in Documenta, Kassel, sparked resonance.

"I don't believe there is anything we make that can permanently stay as it is,'' he says.

Not any more, maybe used to be. What is permanence? The frozen instance in time, the stillness in space or the spontaneous pause in our perception? We consume and dispose physically, culturally, mentally and metaphysically. Forgot the specific tune from that song, didn't recall the conversation with other humans, not aware when the childhood memory got trampled, didn't care to wait for the real answer, not allow self and others to stop for a moment, why do we want things that last long when our mind lapse in time?

I no longer take too many pictures while on vacation, because the concentration on camera operation replaced my joy to feel the moment, touch the landscape, experience the once-for-all. This second can't not replace the last or next second, while we are busy texting, checking email, surfing on the web while the TV, music and stove are both on, do we hear what is inside?

His doors collapsed in Kassel; Los Angeles is still wondering about how to preserve gummi bears.

The real permanence, is in you!

last splash

I'm going on a trip, again, tomorrow. Leaving the last splash before I return with fun images.

You see, the most rewarding way to visit a show is not standing in line for hours in order to get a glimpse of your celebrity artist vomiting on white walls.

I have found the savory way to revisiting a single artist's show in different time and venues. Marnie Weber makes the kind of art I want to make; she has the sort of fun I desire to possess. Love is too strong a word. When I recently saw her new works in Patrick Painter, I was so proud of myself, because as a fan, I trace the progress in her art life, I feel her growth with us followers. Not the ordinary smile people wear when they leave the gallery, I genuinely taste the satisfaction yet not the conclusion!

Let's do a guess since you've read so far. What are the common features shared by these three creature sculptures?

First Day of Summer

Today is the first day of summer, aka Summer Solstice. Historically we should celebrate with a ritual or ceremony, but now, individual like me would go outside the studio building, inhale some sunlight and then head to a museum to finish the huge exhibit that takes more than a day to see.

I spent 4 hours finished 86% of the Wack! show from MOCA LA. I wish I had the world of time to sit thru each video screening. For quite some time, I think my past life was in the 60's or 70's. I become so moved when I see feminist art that address relationship issues and/or utilizes craft materials. It probably came from the happy memory of my childhood, when mom was sewing, sisters doing quilt and knitting. A hobby meant braiding and drawing to the little me. An image of a woman working on a sewing machine directly associates to the female relatives in my brain... this is when art swarms up strong emotions, the public expression experienced on a personal level.


If you are a sensitive person having relationships with other human, this is a good show for you. It is an enriched and well-researched show which has a lot to offer. In 2003, when I was working in Judy Chicago's Envisioning The Future program, Judy told us to get familiar with the feminist art so we don't repeat what have been done already. I don't think I can read enough to stop myself from repeating without this show.

Indeed, a lot of contemporary artists benefit well from feminist artists. Neto's use of materials reminds me of Nengudi's works. Artists documenting themselves have forerunners like Hannah Wilke and Suzanne Lacy. Eleanor Antin's Domestic Peace opens the conversation between artists and their families/friends. Monica Mayer's "El Tendedero" broke down the barrier between authors and readers, giving us courage to invite audience to interact with our creation and become part of the work.

I can't leave here without mentioning two pieces. Carolee Schneemann's Interior Scroll was the first piece of art by female artists that was introduced to me by my sister. At the age of 19, I first felt that she's strange, then I grew to admire her, like her. Now as an artist, I can't help applauding every single time I see this piece! Faith Wilding's Crocheted Environment is the spot in show where I had hard time leaving. This piece looks absolutely gorgeous in a black low-lit room~

Lots of people have negative impression towards feminist art. I have to say that some strong pieces might have been picked up to generate the story. The whole movement was manipulated in the same way as other cultural misunderstandings, like a lot of world citizens assuming African Americans must play basketball and sing well, whites must be well educated and wealthy, Latinos only do labour jobs, Chinese women are submissive, Americans recycle, artists starve... Media posses powerful force when it comes to brainwash, or some called, educating the public. It is time we reintroduce the movement that redefines the definition of contemporary art and forgivingly embraces all genres which provide freedom for all artists nowadays.

Genuine Interest - Are you hitting on me?

The book that broke my reluctance to social with people is The Book of Luck. While I was translating it last year, it showed me tremendous amount of dead corners which I was not able to see in myself.

One of the principle is to network with people from all walks of like. Not because I will need them in the future, but because they are my lenses to see the world. When I'm in the extroverted mode, I hold genuine interests in people. By talking to a scientist, I can dissect the society from another point of view; by talking to a writer, I get to see how dots are connected.

But I find an interesting phenomena. In this lonely society, lots of people translate genuine interests into romantic interests. I have to say that romantic interests are not genuine at all; they are more adrenaline tinted. People in urban lifestyles so seldom receive genuine interests that they run away from it, avoiding the possible commitment to a new relationship, avoiding being acknowledged as worthy attention, avoiding looking at oneself seriously......

You see, if you travel to tropical countries or places where apathy does not exist, you will find people warm and passionate about each other. That is genuine interest from one human to the other, not your typical sniffing tail instinct.

Are people afraid of others' care? Are people mistreated most of their lives that they don't believe one can be cared about by strangers? What are we afraid of?

Do we see an injured person merely another one at struggle? Do we see a dead human as usual as a dead animal to be slaughtered?

Apathy, creates lonely people who struggle inside. Apathy, creates war fought on innocent lives.

Perhaps, this apathy was created by stress to pursue everything the society expects from us, an established career, a large bank annount holdings, a big house, a good-looking family, a count-down watch, a waking bumb, a cancer tumor, a safe border, a convenient life style with no time out, a lake with water drained and a pair of shoes that can walk on and on and on, forever...

geo dance reverberates

went to see Merce Cunningham's dance in Orange County last Saturday night. three repertoires in a night; to be honest, I didn't know what to think after the dance. I merely felt muscle in my legs twitching from wanting to move, in squares, in rigid turns and kicking.



I am the chosen lucky one who has paid for the cheapest seat yet earned the biggest rewards. I sat toward the back of the stage, straight facing Merce who's behind the curtains on his wheelchair. I watched him watching his dancers. He is so much more beautiful than the waves of limber young dancers, because of the history and the whole lot more movement in him . This is an artist who has been faithful to his art for more than 7 decades and still is in action. The bond, the trust, the freedom and the fluid, between an artist and his art.

One night passed, I long for dancing, starting to relive what I saw in my body. Two days passed, I get a glimpse of it. The art that you don't know how to interpret because it was not meant to be interpreted, but it lived in you for ever and deeper than you realized. It is in there, but one can not organize it, touch it or implement it. This is what I call "masterpiece." At the moment when you let go, it all come out of you from underneath the limbs.

I may not see Merce again, but I've got a piece of him. And it's still alive and growing, for ever.

Hawkinson trip II: What have I done to you, my husband?

Continued...
I met this book in the booth: Installation Art in the New Millennium: The Empire of the Senses" by Nicolas De Oliveira, Nicola Oxley and Michael Petry. This is a book I've read few times but still waiting for the price to come down, or until the day I meet a friend who specializes in stealing art books:)

Husband swung his head into my view field, saying: "this book looks interesting." He stayed for few more seconds as I flipped thru the pages. He saw some images that caught his eyes, pointing fingers: "look! what is this?" and "wow, look at that." I nodded as we went along, pretending nothing special is happening.

In my mind: "What happened to him? What have I done to you, my husband? Have I turned you into an artist? oh, I don't want you to be an artist... I just want you to be the you who supports art but doesn't make art. I can't stand marrying an artist..." on and on, the controlling me ignored the fact that Tim Howkinson's works often excite the artists out of everybody.

I looked at this man who understands me and my art more than anybody else, whose direct response to a piece weighs the confidence I have on the work, I wonder how much I know him. Sometimes I analyze his subconsciousness in a way that he didn't even feel the existence. I saw the artist in him who was caged in by the social expectation on men; I feel sorry for the incarcerated soul yet afraid of his power to consume me, not the physical me, but my little soul who is already consumed by my destructed mind and memory.

Family is a group of strange power struggle. I wish Mom and Dad and sisters were all here so I can tell them about Howkinson's Bat, but I am suddenly reminded of a segment from the movie "Pollock" when Pollock was exhilarated by the review on his show and the critic comparing him to Picasso. He was vigorously reading the article while families are talking, drinking and children running around; when seeking approval, they simply replied: "Is Picasso more important than your family?"

This scene pumps my tears, the tears of struggle, loneliness and inseparable bond of life and art, as if our hair grows so long that we often step on it. Fortunately for me who lives far away from home, I don't have to know what happened to the article clippings of my review that I vigorously sent to my family.

Hawkinson trip I

LAAA and the Getty offered us a free trip to see Tim Hawkinson's Zoopsia. The lovely knowledgeable Jamie spent a whole hour giving us a tour on the five new pieces by Hawkinson. I felt tremendously heavenly to be on this side of the country to be able to see Hawkinson often, so much that I would trade Chelsea for Hawkinson.

Outside the exhibition space, Getty set up the usual museum book-booth to help familiarize people with installation art, while they failed to inform viewers of the content of "Bat." As much as I appreciate Getty's offer and enjoy their new adventure on contemporary art, I still can't help bitching about this "educating the public" hypocrisy.

This is a very common phenomenon in museums. I mean, how difficult or unglamorous would it be for a museum to include a small description next to the piece? Why does it have to be people-who-paid-for-audio-tour's or people-who-did-online-research's privilege to understand the process behind the piece. Given most people in Getty are tourists or biblical-art-admirers, education or introduction to the appreciation of contemporary art must be especially emphasized.
I can see how excited people will be if they learned of the process it takes to make Hawkinson a Hawkinson. People are generally excited about art involving everyday materials, yet the listing of media is simply not enough in a museum setting.
I was so tortured that I wanted to stand by the piece and explain detailed process to everybody who was marveled by "wow, it's made of plastic bags" but still felt some missing links as to "how."
ugh... it's like having an apricot stuck in my throat but was forced to swallow down. Perhaps it is time for me to change my personal definition of "education institutes."

Strong Love

Artists consider ourselves lucky because we get to do what we want. I consider more and more people are doing what they want nowadays. Artists, too, get lost in the game of money and fame, probably no less than the American Idols.

I created a tension between art and my personal life which made me hard at breathing. It stretched so far that I developed an "anti" feeling of going to openings. So I dipped, then skipped. Decided to have a day without art, eat a good meal and watch a brilliant movie.

Indeed somebody heard my intention, sent me to watch "The Lives of Others."

Did I say a day without art? How could I even control that? This movie is so well written that I don't even dare to imagine where I will be if it's a novel I'm reading... For a long time, there has not been a movie made me regret of stopping making films; yet this one strikes a chord in my heart. The writer in me wants to climb a tree!

Now that my cat is capable of making conceptual art like this one, I can move on to the writing department.

"Artists are capable of strong love," Michael Salerno told me in an opening. I could never ever erase that sentence from my brain. I saw it in the movie today, the movie that brings my art back to me. One never knows when the perfect quote will appear in an art opening. Thanks, Michael! You made the art openings worth going!

303

303pm, I loaded the sculpture in the back seat and added more money in the meter. I saw the color of ocean behind me, had to go taste the blue. It's 303pm; found 6 pennies by the next meter I encountered, it's an abundant day.

Ocean smells like home; I let the sand filled my socks and shoes. The roaring waves reminded me of the high tide I grew up with in Taiwan. Our ocean is more naive, more friendly, like the uncle who's always drunk but always welcome strangers and adore children. The ocean on this side of the north Pacific wears high heels and make up, her brand new bikini can easily out perform stinky uncle's torn t-shirt.But I miss uncle's drunken stories, they are for everybody who walks by the ocean. Beach is our home, is where we belong. But when you visit the beach on this side of Pacific, it is blondes' home, it smells good but not open for your drunken stories. The flip flops look quite the same, but the ones here don't tolerate your shame.


I miss home, from this side of the Pacific.
Sending my finger prints home, by the white foam of the high tide, when will it reach home?

Sniff, Exhale.

Not that I like to stay in the past, but gummi bear is an ever-present subject.
I just realized that when Gizmodo blogged the Chandelier, bandit commented:

"In an environment with less than 62% relative humidity and temperature under 80'F, a gummy bear will last an average of 7.3 years. Trust me on this."

I swear I didn't pay bandit to say this. If I did, I would pay for a statement of "lasting 20 plus years." bandit is the first person to offer this scientific statement since the gummi entered my brain. Thanks, bandit!

I have been working on a series of sculptures about genetically engineered animals, the first to be born is the octopus. Then Tim Hawkinson's Zoopsia opened in Getty. I stared at his octopus, bit down my teeth, wanted to scratch it off the monitor... I delivered this news to my octopus girl, we both wept... We thought we were the first one.

Worked on the detail draft of the rose window, intended to keep it a secret. Then I ran into the image of Damien Hirst's "Aubade - Crown of Glory." Another oz. of brain juice to crush me...

Human beings live inside similar cultures often share the homogeny of experience, ideology and thinking patterns. I must have been too westernized. This is a challenge existed ever since I first started art career by making female dress forms. Everybody is making what I am making... *~#-%*^#@

I guess one can never avoid stepping on others' brain wave accidentally, since we all watch the same movies and use the same computer OS. damn those culture monopolies!

The best solution will be live deep in the sea or at the core of the earth; at that moment, my views will alter into uniqueness and exoticness. not your Polynesian way of exotic, but a real never-before-comprehended way of strangeness.

oh, well, until then, we would continue stepping on each other's toes and yell: "I'm gonna make 1000 octopuses to beat up your 1 octopus." or in a hypocritical tone: "wow! that is so genius that you came up with the rose window idea!"

Pigglet

Some friends know that we adopted a piglet at Farm Sanctuary last year. Our pig daughter, Ramona, lives in their California shelter. She ran away from a farm when she's only 2 month old, but fell in a open sewer drain... (story continued at http://www.farmsanctuary.org/adopt/rescue_ramona.htm)Farm Sanctuary's NY shelter just welcomed a new piglet named J.D.. He's so cute in his chocolate color. See J.D. in action here: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=farmsanctuary1
Pigs are smart and rambunctious. They are playful like dogs, curious like cats. But don't worry if you've got no space for them to run, you can always have one in Farm Sanctuary. We will be visiting our calico pig this summer, are you interested in adopting one, too?

限定,場域,再現...誰最會翻譯深奧無解的外來辭

三不五時閱讀典藏今藝術的電子版,
盯著一大段明明在說中文的國字竟然組合不出一點的意義
大量的外來語透過白人學者的揣摩, 重新定義, 然後再發表, 變成新的深奧辭彙
說穿了往往就是古老文化中以一個字便解決了的單純概念
但是想要假裝有深度的人就一一地拿起來當口頭禪用
寫在自己的文章裡

這些自以為是的文章留傳到海外
我們努力硬著頭皮把自以為是的學者用辭硬坳成另一個新辭
另一個看起來很深奧卻空虛又喪失自尊的辭彙
另一個只有看過原文的知識份子才了解的高階層文化
古老有趣的中國語言變成坑坑疤疤的"後現代"拼圖

為什麼我們不能用單純的心和單純的語言來看藝術?
我以為有深度的東西和難以了解的東西之間是沒有等號的,
因為往往越深奧的理念其實就是最簡單的概念

如果你不能以簡單的一句話解釋一個理論
那你便是一點也不了解其中道理!

有些人把藝術說得比天氣還難懂
引這個德國學者說的, 引那個美國學者說的,
灌滿了字數卻讓自己的言語看起來像是翻譯來的,
喪失了"原著"的真誠

每看到這種令人傷心的文章
讓我想告訴這隻筆
您不妨寫英文,德文或法文還省事點
何必折磨自己與讀者的想像力呢?

Cyber Feature...

MAKEZINE posted my gummi bear chandelier on their blog on March 8th: http://makezine.com/blog/

To answer everybody's doubts:

1. "Chandelier" turned soft in LA's 90 degree summer and hardened again in winter.

Gummi bears only melt when temperature rise above 200 degree.

I do think the moisture will post a problem.

But as my gallery pal put it: Basic vermin and, uh - flooding or fire? In which case, no art would be safe. No art material will last forever if you don't take good care of it. "Chandelier" is a piece of art, a concept, not a bag of produce.

2. I have experimented on leaving gummi bears(including the melted ones) out on the street in LA, the result is, there may be only two species on earth who consume this food: Human and Some Dogs. No, no roaches, no vermin, no ants, not even fruit flies... I wonder if mold grows on coal-tar? Artificial coloring came from coal-tar, you know.

Although sounds tough, gummi bear still can't compete with Twinkies when it comes to the forever-long shelf life. We should run a contest calling all durable snacks to come out and show us what they are made of:)

Cyber Interview...

I was interviewed by Claudio Parentela from Italy.

Visit the interview: http://theextrafinger.blogspot.com/

and Claudio's other artist interview blog: http://foggygrizzly.blogspot.com/

Interesting how it is the first time I talk to people and the Chandelier was not included in the conversation. It's very refreshing! Like a parent, Chandelier is now a teenager and has a life of her own:) Thanks, Claudio, for a great experience.

damn... forgot to mention Eva Hesse and Virginia Woolf. Probably because I don't look at them as my favorite artists, they are simply my past life friends or sisters...woooo...

OK. Back to work before all the stars fall on my head and burn my hair off.

Mission in Matrilineage Symposium

Had very good luck bringing some warmth to Syracuse, breaking the record long freezing temperature; Chicago stopped snowing and Syracuse raised to 30 degree!

Just finished the lecture, I wasn't sure if I offered enough to the audience. Perhaps I didn't give them enough what they really needed, or perhaps the topic was too far ahead for them, or it was too much of a mental game that they couldn't relate to it...


My conclusion is that I care too much about people's response. I should just focus on doing what I am doing.
Could I have done better?
No, I couldn't.
I did my best to arrange the lecture and put out what I see as priority in young artists' life. What we create is in our mind, not in the material world. Because thoughts become things.
How much does this mean to a fresh out-of-school artist when she has to find a job to pay her rent?
I am a very fortunate artist. Most of the times I wish I know how to make the world love artists more, not in a distant appreciating way, but a genuine supporting way...



Night are falling into the dark with a flurry. The cold fresh air feels so crispy compare to downtown LA's warm truck smuge pollution.
I found a lampost in front of the hotel. I think this is the way to enter Narnia. Will I meet Tamnus tonight?

Vancouver Sculpture Biennale

Gertrud Kohler-Aeschlimann and I had short conversations on emails these days, don't I wish I had visited Gertrud and Heinz in Lucerne while I was there in 2003. But another visit to Switzerland will be a super delight to keep me smile in sparkle for months.

Gertrud and Heinz Aeschlimann are renowned artists and art patrons themselves, also run the art-st-urban community in Lucerne, Switzerland. They support International Sculpture Center's Outstanding Student Achievement in Contemporary Sculpture Awards to sponsor young artists' residency, also show some really amazing artworks and art events on site. Plus the history of the land and the building just kept my goose bump dancing in joy, do you want to live and create art in an isolation cell in the former "Psychiatric Clinic for Unruly Male Patients." Sounds like somewhere some politicians should be. "Unruly?" Does that mean "Creative?"

Heinz Aeschlimann invites a beautiful "Composer" to Vancouver Sculpture Biennale, so poetic that birds whistle thru it! I also enjoy the Engagement by Dennis Oppenheim, the kind of sculpture I love to create. I wish Sophie Ryder's "Minotaur With Hare" was made with willow twigs, but that would probably be too Patrick Dougherty, I think... I love her works, very contemporary English, sweet but tough! Of course, I am glad to see the senior sculptor all Taiwanese kids grew up with, Ju Ming has one of his signature Tai-Chi series in the Biennale, too.
If you live in the Vancouver region, don't miss it. The biennale runs til April 2007, also go online and vote for your favorite piece!

Ding-Ding-Ding

It's a charm!
Had a lovely dinner with dear friend Trine last night, before heading for the South Biannual show. I would not tell you what we ate for dinner because it might freak you out... But I learned a little secret that Trine's paintings may fly to NYC very soon. woo-hoo! Very excited and bravo on smart-eyes me, I have a painting of Trine's in my studio, indeed an important investment!! Collectors out there, don't you hurry?

As I was preparing for the lecture for the Matrilineage Symposium in Syracuse university, I couldn't emphasize enough how important it is to help and celebrate each other in the art world. Seeing friends make a step higher and truly be happy for them is to allow ourselves to shine like they do, and to follow their steps to receive more good news for ourselves.
I believe in a win-win situation and mutual benefit. Therefore I continue to prove it by a piece of news coming in this morning that I got in a group show in Chicago's Woman Made Gallery, a place I've eyed for a long time.
Having a chance to show with other great women seems to always make me more joyous than showing in a cold-white-wall gallery dominated by celebrity male artists. It is a different kind of feeling, you know. One is joy like going to the park with Mom, having a picnic and draw birds in the whole afternoon; the other is cheer like having a promotion. Somehow something is lost when we increase our experience and body sizes; more money or fame simply can't afford the blissful memory from childhood (that is if one has blissful childhood). Anyway, I love the energy emitting from female artists. Perhaps it's because I live too far away from Mom and I miss her much.

Mom, a young Taiwanese lady in her army uniform in 1958.

Joy-Coated

Finally, after some days of nausea and toxic fume inhaling, I learned to open the window, had both the fan and air filter on high and finish 99% of the new gummi piece. The last one, I think, to put an end to the gummi bear series. But somewhat feel addicted to melting and gluing the gummi bears... The poor baby has to endure my "branding" him with hot sizzling gummis, yet we seem to have cutivated an intimate relationship... Yes, we hug each other every day.

絹印很好玩!!

這是上週末去學絹印當場即興創作的作品之一, 二
靈感來自唐朝仕女畫, 像那尊從山西帶回來的胖女像, 每天看顧著我的小柳樹!
我最喜歡綠色的那張, 但是同學喜歡黃色的 今天從幫華美博物館翻譯晉級為編輯, 真高興有人賞識我的文筆哩~

絹印其實不難,比我3天才能畫一張畫快多了

所以今明兩天要去學手工絹印
今天雖然很冷,卻滿載而歸
一個頭塞著滿滿的知識像有兩個大
但總比昨前天被燒焦的甘貝熊燻到反胃要來得舒服

能在陽光下讓影像曝光真是種健康的美德呀!!

學點新東西讓人神采奕奕, 接觸到許多其他不同領域的藝術家們
世界真大, 好多學有專精又和善的創意人

上課的老師比我還小, 卻已經做絹印十五年了
有時候想想如果我們不用考聯考, 現在想必也已經成精了!
莫札特如果要考聯考, 絕不會變天才兒童的, 因為他媽媽會逼他去上功文數學, 老師會因為他忘記給媽媽簽聯絡簿而打他手心, 所以就更別彈鋼琴了

Toxic burned gummi bears?

working on the new gummi bear piece for days, I figured out that I can burn them and utilize the melting gummi as adhesive. After 2 days of working on gummis, Turbo the cat lost appetite and threw up some food, while I had nausea for 2 nights.
What is in the burned gummi? I have a theory: Food coloring came from petroleum, so burned gummi contains sulfur dioxide, which is a common pollutant in the air from power plants. But short concentrated exposure to sulfur dioxide "can cause stomach pain, menstrual disorders, watery eyes, inhibition of thyroid function, loss of smell, headache, nausea, vomiting, fever, convulsions, and dizziness. "
oh, my goddess, what am I getting myself into?

No resolution needed.

Most new year resolutions are broken before Jan. 30.
The best thing for liberal minds who seek to break any confinement is : never make resolutions!

Believe or not, most human beings identify with their problems. People carry phrases with them, "I am lazy," "I am too tired to do it," "I am too busy or too poor," "I don't like my wife," or "I have arthritis"...
What is going on in the mind is, if someday I am not lazy or not tired any more, I am no longer myself. If some day I don't struggle any more, I am no longer a real artist.
Therefore what will happen is, one continues to struggle, yet never becomes a real artist. Because real artists don't struggle, they simply enjoy expressing their talents.

If you have a habit breaking rules, don't make another bigger rule to break in order to prove to yourself that you indeed can break rules.
Simply choose what makes you feel free and go do it. When you do what you love, you feel free; when you do what you don't love, you feel burdened. Close your eyes and ask yourself: If money and education don't matter, what is it that I really want to do?

For most artists who suffer with doubts, I have a suggestion. When you love what you create, others will love it as well. Don't mix your expectation from others in your paint. The best way to guarantee a master piece is to focus yourself in it, think nothing else but the work. Like the children playing in the sand box, nobody nor nothing can take you away from it, because you love it too much!

Some painter once said: "Doubt is important. But if it keeps you from accomplishing your dreams, are you meant to be an artist?" I kept this quote with me in the studio.

Is New Year still new when the age is 2007?

spent the holidays cleaning up and organizing the studio, I am ready for a blank new year.
the philosophy of being an artistic person remains a strong interest in the air.
I was searching for "vision board" for an official way to present that picture I cut out from a magazine, on my way, I found Christine Kane's blog, full of nice tips echoing with what I have been reading on "intention" these years. There is a general misunderstanding that artists = suffering, however I see more and more people suffering nowadays because they suppress or hide the artists within themselves. Art=Life, indeed, to create is to bring out life.

I have a lesson to learn, to "Allow" the flow of opportunities. To not force solution nor creation; art is born for myself first, then other elements will follow!